Maybe

I had started to write my inner most thoughts to reveal and then wondered why I am compelled to do that. I already know that one is never quite understood. People will think they know you or understand who you are and you'll be knowing it's just not true, and you just bear with everything because you understand that people mean well. Everyone does not know the same thing or perceives information quite the same. But what a person knows defines life for that person. Does anyone have any idea what I'm trying to say?

Today

Visited with Frank yesterday and he had good news. He's recovering really well and the stint in his heart is helping it work nicely. He is not looking at further surgery at this point and I am so happy for Frank.

Finally

Been concerned about my friend Frank who had a heart attack about three weeks ago. He's finally starting to recover since having two surgeries. It was really good to talk to him after not being able to for it seems forever. I love Frank like a brother we have done so many things together. For the record, I have been to more excellent concerts with Frank than any of my friends and that is a distinction. I love music and the live music experience. Frank is so much fun to see a good band/show with.

Breaking the Silence

Funny how I start a blog and then I never post. Well here goes one.
Tonight I attended the annual fund raiser for the organization I work for called Community Alliance. Our guest speaker was Steve Lopez, the author of the book The Soloist that was recently adapted to film. He was very inspiring. I have worked at this mental health agency for 24 years now and the impact the work has had upon my life and countless others cannot be stated simply. The Alliance is a community based mental health rehabilitation service for adults. Like anything the business has its flaws but overall the agency is known in the midwest for being very reliable and effective. Steve Lopez was the perfect guest speaker for us. He could have easily gotten away with talking all night about how cool it was to have a movie made of his book with such great actors but he didn't. He told the story of how he met Nathaniel Ayers and how it transformed both of their lives. He spent much of the time talking about the devastating effect mental illness has on so many people. He talked about how upside down society is, how he learned about classical music and Shakespeare from a homeless man on skid row, while he himself lived in the hills in a nice house. Steve showed himself to be a man of integrity, recognizing that he has an opportunity to do something helpful by sharing his story and information about what can be done better.
It got me to thinking about how I left my job about a year ago to go on the road and play music and work on film crews. It was a wonderful time but practical need sent me back to my full time job. But even before I left I was aware of the impact the work I am part of has on my community. As much as I would really love to just be an artist I am very proud to be involved in work that attempts to heal. My older sister was in town awhile back and when we talked about this she simply said that it is obviously your path. I accept it. Mr. Lopez' words reinvigorated something in me tonight and I am thankful for it. Of course I still want to be a self sufficient artist but very clearly I recognize the value of my job and am feeling appreciation for it right now.

Nebraska Pop Festival pictures

I had the great pleasure of playing with Labrador at the first such festival to be held in Omaha. I sincerely dig his music and it was such a gas to play with him. I also played with another band called Cleemann and some photos will be posted from that performance. Both artists are from Denmark although Labrador (Flemming) now lives in Berlin. Photos taken by Frank Zaccone.

Events

Mark's wife Liz died last Saturday. She had cancer and had been battling it for years. Thinking about her passing does trigger self reflection and with that I refocus. Mark and Liz were together a long time, maybe 20 years in total. When I last visited them she was bedridden and he was right there at her side. I must admit that I don't quite comprehend this kind of love. Back to self reflection.

It's like talking to myself

So I feel like writing. Was just on Facebook for a second talking to a couple of friends I made through doing film and it just brought me back to that feeling I get from working full time. "I'm working so much that I'm hard pressed to find the time to actually live." I'm just venting. I am so thankful for my job and the fact that I am half decent at it. The creative work that I've had a taste of through film and music really calls to me, though. I just auditioned for a part in a film being shot in Council Bluffs next month, as well as submitting my resume for crew work. I got an offer for crew but can't take it. Tied to the financial reality of my mortgage I have to opt for the security of my job. For now.
I still believe the opportunities are there for me to make a transition into a more art centered way of making a living. The challenging part of this transition for me, is to think more business-like in approaching my music and art. I'll get the hang of it.