Humility

I heard a story on NPR today about an autistic college student. I feel a lot like that student. Present but detached.

I am aware that I sound like an idiot to some people.

today's thoughts

I am dumbfounded how people can still believe that organized religion offers any real solutions to man's problems. I guess someone with this outlook must not be aware that reality is mostly perception, that each person really lives in his mind rather than in a concrete reality where everyone thinks and feels the same thing. I guess a person with super strong religious beliefs is unable to look at life from another perspective. Frankly, I am of the opinion that organized religion is just another obstacle to real solutions. I attempt to accept each and every person just as they are. This doesn't mean I approve of everything they do. It just means that I accept their existence. Like many people I do sometimes wish that I could make people see what I see but I know this is not possible. I guess unconditional love and acceptance is asking too much of the average person.

definition

Blogging is like journaling is like talking to yourself. It's a release with the possibility that it will be read by someone else. That possibility in itself feels like a connection to the world.

Lawn mower

My lawnmower gave up the ghost this weekend. I've had it for almost 20 years ans it was given to me used. It might seem odd to write about this but it has been with me for a long time. A reminder of how I mostly avoid making practical purchases like this as much as humanly possible. The mower was electric, by the way. I contemplate wanting to stay with an electric and what will cost. Thankfully it is a purchase I can make.

Post Birthday Thoughts

I turned 55 yesterday. Both of my parents were deceased by the age of 53. Writing the words cannot convey the experience of this reality I live. I am so thankful to still be alive.
Yesterday score upon score of friends contacted me mainly through the internet to wish me a happy birthday. I remain humbled by the love I feel from everyone.

I live according to a code I've chosen for myself. Having gone through several religions I have been operating under the premise that none of them really knows what they are talking about. I take exception to the idea that I need someone to represent me to god. It doesn't make sense to me that I am separate from god. The heaven and hell thing seems a bit much to take. I cannot fathom why a person would need to be eternally punished. We're only alive for about 70 years. Burn forever? The idea of hell sounds completely human and self serving.
No one has to read this blog so I am just taking a moment to write these thoughts that I have been thinking for a long time.
One more thought. I muse constantly on how uncivilized man acts in the name of beliefs. To me it is obvious that there are many ways of interpreting reality, and yet we speak to each other as though our perspectives were fact. The continuing wars around the globe are direct testimony to this folly. Blindly following traditions and systems of belief, creating conflict with those who choose differently. It's hard to verbally express what I'm thinking and feeling.
Part of me feels like an idiot for bothering to try and write this at all. And yet I have not lost the view I developed as a child that wants to see what is really going on around me. I continue to conclude that western culture is based on lies and deception, all in the name of someone's personal gain. It also appears that the game has been going on for a long time and the players never really change. Is that what they call old money? And that this is what has been going on all over this world for the longest.
This indeed relates to my earlier thoughts on religion. It all seems to be set up to manipulate the masses while the ruling parties continue the party.
Broken record syndrome here maybe? What I'm saying is nothing new. Why do I even bother? It is likely something to do with depression.