DERECK HIGGINS

'Dereck 3' on vinyl

2012-01-24T17:59:00.000-08:00

Soon to release my first vinyl album of solo material.

RAF

2011-08-13T12:08:00.000-07:00

R.A.F. at Chesterfield's in Sioux City, Iowa August 13, 2011.

Thoughts about Amy

2011-07-24T14:17:00.000-07:00

Saddened by the news about Amy Winehouse, a little surprised at my reaction. Still processing it. I felt a real sense of pain and loss when I heard the news. I wasn't a fan but I know I related to her as a person of music.

New record

2011-05-06T09:19:00.000-07:00

I just have to write a little about the InDreama split single project. One of the bands I am in currently just self-released a double seven inch single split with three other bands, Conduits, Icky Blossoms and Touch People. It just started to come together rather quickly a few months ago with most of the bands sharing members. I'm just real pleased with the results. The music, the artwork and thankfully, the immediate positive response it is getting from the public. This summer, InDreama is scheduled to have a full album release on Slumber Party records. I'm psyched and very thankful.

hallo

2011-03-16T19:12:00.000-07:00

Man, I so seldom update this thing. The experience of blogging has not been what I thought it might. I constantly find myself measuring my words and rethinking everything before writing. Much as I enjoy the written word I feel much better communicating verbally.
I recently started posting videos on youtube where I display and talk about my record collection. I feel totally natural speaking like this and a little addicted to making them right now. Here's a link to my channel if you're interested.http://www.youtube.com/user/dereckvon

recent

2011-01-18T16:33:00.000-08:00

Spent Saturday afternoon on the set of Bright Eyes new video (his house) watching Nik work. Tried to get on crew but wasn't needed. It was cool just being there. It's so cool to chat with the band and see they're all still pretty sane. Found out from Nik that Dreama will be released by Slumber Party records on cd and vinyl. I'm very happy to see it get a physical release as opposed to just digital, even though that's the way of the world nowadays. Scheduled to go to Chicago next week to record tracks with Cleemann for his next record. Working with Michael Teach and his crew from Chicago Acoustic Underground, some real fine people. I think we;re driving to Beloit for a gig too.
I'm psyched that Cleemann is scheduled to play at SXSW in March. This will be my second time there.

Please

2010-12-31T07:12:00.000-08:00

Don't be putting me on a pedestal. I will disappoint you.

25 Years

2010-12-21T15:21:00.001-08:00

Recognized for 25 years employment at Community Alliance

When I start to write about this I get lost. Half of my life has been spent at this agency. So much has happened, I have learned so much and experienced so many things.

More sounds and new music

2010-11-29T15:39:00.000-08:00

I recently signed up for Soundcloud, another music sharing site. I like to manipulate sound and create audio pictures that can be psychedelic or disorienting. hard to explain why this appeals to me but I started doing this for my own listening pleasure. You could say it's because of the LSD I used to take, but I liked stuff like this as a child, long before drugs. I'd like to encourage you to take an audio trip with me. Here's the link: http://soundcloud.com/dereck-higgins
You'll also find two recent music recordings that I am happy to share. A new version of "Glass" recorded during Thanksgiving, and a version of the song "High Spirits" with drums played by Gary Foster. Sure hope some of you take a listen. The artwork in the accompanying photo is by Derek Pressnall.

Thankful

2010-11-17T15:04:00.000-08:00

Thinking about the holiday coming up I am focusing on what I have to be grateful for, which is quite a bit. I won't worry about being politically correct as I share.
I am thankful for all of the opportunities I've had to do music and art. I thank Joe Knapp for asking me to play in Son Ambulance. I thank Nik Fackler for working with me on so many things. I thank Rich Madsen for being a real friend and for dealing with my angry side. I thank Nils Erickson for being patient with me as I blew off debts to him for years. I could thank everyone I know for something but I wanted to at least express these thanks. I am thankful for being born black and in the United States. I am thankful for the path that my life is on.

Friday night

2010-10-29T20:48:00.001-07:00

Tour memories

2010-10-25T15:37:00.001-07:00

Thoughts while on tour

2010-10-03T08:09:00.000-07:00

So I am presently in New York with a few days off. The tour has been and continues to be quite an adventure with many challenges and triumphs. The expense of touring is probably the biggest disadvantage. Nowadays everyone plays music and finding an audience willing to pay is tough. With that said, the actual making of the music is one of the saving graces. It beats the humdrum of a daily job, although I have to give thanks for that source of income. I would not be able to do this without the damned job.
Not having personal space is also a huge challenge and even the best of friends will get on each others nerves now and then. I feel fortunate that I like the people in the Cleemann band. Networking is also cool, meeting and playing with other artists is always interesting and sometimes quite fun. I do not miss home so much as wish I could have a space of my own for the sake of my sanity. It's cool, all in all.

Music

2010-09-08T17:44:00.000-07:00

So enough of my pontification. I need to listen to the news a lot less.
I am scheduled to start another US tour with Cleemann in a week. We have about a month's worth of dates culminating in New York. I am so looking forward to this. The day to day business of touring is tiring and hard, but the total experience outweighs the tedium. Having everything you do be about playing music is just the best.
The lineup will be different again. This will be my third round of playing dates with Gunnar Cleemann. The first time we played he had a pianist named Michael travel with him from Denmark. This spring we went out with a drummer, my good friend Gary Foster. It looks like we'll be going out as a trio with a pianist named Andy Butler. I think I've met him but don't quite remember.
I have truly been enjoying playing Gunnar's songs with him. Even though I am in fact working, it is such a joy to play music.
I'm also quite happy about my ongoing music work with Nik Fackler, the film director. His debut album is about to be released on Team Love records and I play on several tracks. It remains to be seen what all will transpire with this project. I know I am open to touring with Nik. We recently played some of the album live and it worked pretty well.

Statement

2010-08-26T14:53:00.000-07:00

I greatly dislike how the media frame their words from the point of view that assumes everyone has money lust.

Humility

2010-08-23T16:19:00.000-07:00

I heard a story on NPR today about an autistic college student. I feel a lot like that student. Present but detached.

2010-08-18T18:08:00.001-07:00

I am aware that I sound like an idiot to some people.

today's thoughts

2010-08-16T15:55:00.000-07:00

I am dumbfounded how people can still believe that organized religion offers any real solutions to man's problems. I guess someone with this outlook must not be aware that reality is mostly perception, that each person really lives in his mind rather than in a concrete reality where everyone thinks and feels the same thing. I guess a person with super strong religious beliefs is unable to look at life from another perspective. Frankly, I am of the opinion that organized religion is just another obstacle to real solutions. I attempt to accept each and every person just as they are. This doesn't mean I approve of everything they do. It just means that I accept their existence. Like many people I do sometimes wish that I could make people see what I see but I know this is not possible. I guess unconditional love and acceptance is asking too much of the average person.

definition

2010-07-28T16:29:00.000-07:00

Blogging is like journaling is like talking to yourself. It's a release with the possibility that it will be read by someone else. That possibility in itself feels like a connection to the world.

Lawn mower

2010-07-27T15:56:00.000-07:00

My lawnmower gave up the ghost this weekend. I've had it for almost 20 years ans it was given to me used. It might seem odd to write about this but it has been with me for a long time. A reminder of how I mostly avoid making practical purchases like this as much as humanly possible. The mower was electric, by the way. I contemplate wanting to stay with an electric and what will cost. Thankfully it is a purchase I can make.

Post Birthday Thoughts

2010-07-08T16:23:00.000-07:00

I turned 55 yesterday. Both of my parents were deceased by the age of 53. Writing the words cannot convey the experience of this reality I live. I am so thankful to still be alive.
Yesterday score upon score of friends contacted me mainly through the internet to wish me a happy birthday. I remain humbled by the love I feel from everyone.

2010-06-16T18:08:00.000-07:00

I live according to a code I've chosen for myself. Having gone through several religions I have been operating under the premise that none of them really knows what they are talking about. I take exception to the idea that I need someone to represent me to god. It doesn't make sense to me that I am separate from god. The heaven and hell thing seems a bit much to take. I cannot fathom why a person would need to be eternally punished. We're only alive for about 70 years. Burn forever? The idea of hell sounds completely human and self serving.
No one has to read this blog so I am just taking a moment to write these thoughts that I have been thinking for a long time.
One more thought. I muse constantly on how uncivilized man acts in the name of beliefs. To me it is obvious that there are many ways of interpreting reality, and yet we speak to each other as though our perspectives were fact. The continuing wars around the globe are direct testimony to this folly. Blindly following traditions and systems of belief, creating conflict with those who choose differently. It's hard to verbally express what I'm thinking and feeling.
Part of me feels like an idiot for bothering to try and write this at all. And yet I have not lost the view I developed as a child that wants to see what is really going on around me. I continue to conclude that western culture is based on lies and deception, all in the name of someone's personal gain. It also appears that the game has been going on for a long time and the players never really change. Is that what they call old money? And that this is what has been going on all over this world for the longest.
This indeed relates to my earlier thoughts on religion. It all seems to be set up to manipulate the masses while the ruling parties continue the party.
Broken record syndrome here maybe? What I'm saying is nothing new. Why do I even bother? It is likely something to do with depression.

Recording at Ashley's

2010-05-31T08:20:00.000-07:00

Returned home last night after spending the weekend recording and mixing Nik Fackler's upcoming debut album. We did it at Ashley Miller's private studio located in the country right outside of Kansas City. The situation was ideal. I loved knowing the mixing console of the studio was originally owned and customized by Bruce Swedian, who worked on Michael Jackson's Thriller. Ashley even had a platinum Thriller disc signed by Michael on display. Really fun stuff.
Nik and Ashley were/are great to work with because everyone is in a create mode and ideas fly constantly and many things are tried. Everyone is honest too and handles reciprocating honesty in a refreshingly sane manner.
Nik's record was inspired by the breakup he went through with a girl he fell for hard. The songs really capture the range and intensity of feelings one goes through when this happens. Many times while listening to the final mixes I remarked to myself that what we had done is the kind of music I look for as a collector. I'm pretty jazzed about it.

thoughts

2010-05-26T16:24:00.000-07:00

Use the blog dammit. Well I'm excited and distracted having found out that touring with Cleemann is on for this fall. It really has been a high point in my life to play music with this guy. It also has been a saving grace that I have been able to play so much music in general and travel so much doing it. Even though I am approaching my 55th birthday I dare to look ahead at a point where I am a full time paid artist. I can't waste time regretting not doing certain things sooner in my life. Everything happens in its own time. I'm thankful and I believe that is part of the blessing.

after the tour

2010-05-10T16:01:00.000-07:00

Touring and working intertwined is tough. Switching back and forth between the mindsets was harsh on the body but well worth it. Getting to know Gunnar Cleemmann better was very refreshing. That might seem like an odd description but it really encapsulates the total of the experience. I don't know what it is like for anyone else, but part of the way I experience everything is as a reflection of who I am. I see lessons in most things, not that I can always learn these lessons but I get the information. Gunnar is a deep feeling artist and silly prankster and everything in between. His natural inclination to lose himself in each moment was very encouraging. This openness to the human experience comes through the music strongly as well. Traveling to places such as New York for the first time, to play this music was just amazing. The fact that I could share the whole experience with an old and true friend, Gary Foster, made it all the more enjoyable and rewarding. It was so much fun shopping for records with Gary let alone playing music with him. Cleemann's music is so fine and minimal all you have to do is hear him/us play it live. Consistently on the tour I experienced people being moved by the music, really connecting. These incredible moments and memories make the hard work involved so worthwhile. I could go on about what it took for Gary and I to make the tour, but the lingering effect of the music and friendship shared is too strong.

Cleemann 2010

2010-04-06T15:27:00.001-07:00

So Gunnar is back and on tour. We have played five shows together so far and each one has been memorable. When I play Gunnar's songs I feel a real connection with him. I look at him as we're playing and I see a reflection. It is very satisfying playing music with someone else who gets lost in the sound.

Winter

2010-02-24T17:11:00.000-08:00

Playing with Cleemann last year at Clawfoot House, Lincoln, Nebraska.
Getting through this winter is a daily challenge. It's been a long time since we've had such an unrelenting cold season. it's been my official reason for not booking gigs or going to many shows. Really looking forward to spring as I think most people in my area are.
Looking forward to doing some touring as a musician in the coming months. I am scheduled to play bass for Cleemann, who will be coming from Denmark to tour the US. At first I oped to play all of his shows but due to time and lack of funds I will not be able to travel to the west coast for the dates in Washington. I am still working on being able to fulfill most or all of the east coast dates. Cleemann has dates in New York spanning over a weeks' time. If anyone wishes to listen to his exquisite music you can do it at www.myspace.com/cleemann

Chicago

2010-01-26T15:57:00.000-08:00

Just spent the weekend in Chicago with my friend Gary Foster. he was gracious enough to buy me a ticket to see Pierre Boulez conduct the Chicago Symphony Orchestra. We saw the Saturday program of a week long series of events celebrating Boulez's upcoming 85th birthday. Gary and I are music freaks with different central focuses, but we share a deep love for classical music. It was extraordinary to experience Boulez conducting Bartok, Stravinsky and one of his own pieces with someone who truly gets the power of music. We had a great time at the concert as well as going shopping for records, definitely one of my favorite things to do.
But back to Boulez, I was able to visualize meeting him although there was no reason to think such a thing would occur. While waiting for the curtain Gary showed me the insert in the evening's program that said Boulez would be signing cds after the concert. great! Everyone was so formal and distant as they approached Pierre one by one to get an autograph. I just knew it would be cool so when it was my turn I asked him for a picture. of course he said "sure". We even shared a little laugh as I dropped my program trying to hurry out of the next person's way. he said "you got the picture but don't forget that."

So back to what is my sustaining focus

2010-01-20T18:40:00.000-08:00

Music is the sustaining force in this household. I recently had a nice session with my brother Patrick, working on some original material. Here is a short clip of him warming up to record some solos on his track 'Pat's Tune'. That's me on bass on the backing track. We're in my music room.

Thank you

2010-01-18T11:14:00.001-08:00

I want to thank everyone that responded to my last post. That was really cool to hear from Michael, who I met in Austria while on tour last year. I'm fine today and was yesterday. I will continue to do the work that I do. If anything, I look at the communication I generated from the post as a needed tune up. People are always warning against revealing too much about yourself online and I understand. But I am going to share that I have always had difficulty getting to a point of intimacy with another human being, thus I am single and alone. The post was my way of asking for some loving attention. I seem to be good at giving it in the context of my job or as a good friend, but I am frightened (literally) of getting too close to anyone. So I am saying thanks again for those that accept me. For those that think I'm whining or being negative, it's just too bad that you don't understand. I resist the urge to be vindictive.

I am an outsider

2010-01-17T17:55:00.000-08:00

My depression is really kicking my ass this winter, more than I've experienced in well over ten years. The shitty thing about this depression is that it isn't situational. I just have to ride it out. There are issues that feed my anger but those issues aren't going to change so I cope with them. I hope I don't end up sounding crazy but I need to get some thoughts out. Nobody reads this anyway.
One of the things that keeps me feeling like an outsider is my job. The place I work is so conservative. I worked there a long time before taking almost a year off to do music and film. Sometimes the body language of people in administration there send me the message that "you're being watched. better watch your step. don't make waves." It could just be me but I know that I am a pretty good observer of human behavior. The reason it bothers me is that I know I do good work, some would say that I am one of the secret weapons (of strength) of the agency, and yet I feel scrutinized like I'm some kind of invader. And the situation is just typical of history. Outsiders are not understood usually until they are dead and rediscovered in a new context where their actions suddenly make sense. Call me grandiose but that's how I feel. Here in Nebraska, conformity is practically demanded. Unfortunately the values that the midwest pushes on everybody exclude real sensitivity to different cultures. Let me just be blunt, the midwest is white-bread and blind to this fact. I am sent subliminal messages constantly by local media and the way I am regarded when shopping that being black is still a problem for Nebraska unless I am an athlete. It just happened to me. I was at a restaurant minding my own business when this older man stops and says "you're a ball player aren't you? You got the height for it." He had no idea how insulting his comment was. I listen every morning to the news on KFAB and am angered every day by the judgmental bigoted comments that come from their announcers. I used to call and complain. They will not take my calls anymore. What the hell is that about?!
One more issue. I am a fairly well known musician in Omaha. I've done a lot of things over the years but I notice how I can easily get gigs when I'm playing with the young white folks but doors are not open when it's just me trying to get my music heard. I don't think I am imagining these things. Bottom line is that it hurts. It hurts so bad I can't even get tears to come out. It would be so helpful if someone just said they understood what I'm saying.

my favorite room

2010-01-04T16:45:00.000-08:00

Playing with Zach

2009-12-29T15:09:00.000-08:00

Zach is Craig and Jeannie's son, I love them like family. Here I am playing with Zach a few days after Christmas. He is a very bright young man. We had just played football on his new PlayStation 3, which I found to be pretty absorbing. The graphics are really cool and I am generally not interested in video games.
Not being near my sisters and nephews and great-nephews is felt. I see the pictures of them online and the boys (my great-nephews) are growing so fast and I haven't even met them yet. I'm so glad to have Zach in my life, his whole family actually. It can't replace what I am lacking in contact with my own family, but I feel so privileged to have them near.

Reflecting back on the year

2009-12-25T08:39:00.000-08:00

It's not the end of the year yet but I am at home Christmas day thinking about all of the things that have happened this year. It has been an incredibly alive time and so much has happened I forget. Here are some pictures to refresh my memory.
Going to Europe was such a dream come true. Especially since I did as a band member on tour. Something I had begun to think I could not achieve. In the picture below I'm standing outside a gas station in Copenhagen, Denmark.

Playing in Stuttgart, Germany
with tour manager Ollie in Maastricht, The Netherlands
Playing at the Botanique in Brussels, Belgium. The picture was taken during our sound check.
Another highlight of this year was when both of my sisters came for a visit. I love them so much. In the first picture I'm with my older sister Stephanie.
With Adrienne and Stephanie
Friend and former bandmate Maureen made a surprise visit from France. Her son Leslie was the real surprise and I bonded with him immediately.
I have been blessed with seeing my friend Jane on three occasions this year. She lives in Phoenix but has been in town for a variety of reasons and is here now for Christmas. Jane is the woman in my life to be upfront.
to be continued...

I'm digging Opeth

2009-12-10T17:09:00.000-08:00

So I am currently listening to Opeth repeatedly. There is such beauty as well as power in their sound. I've known about Opeth for a long time and have listened to them without really connecting. I recently bought 'Blackwater Park' because Steven Wilson produced it. The album blew me away. I've gone back to their beginnings and to my ears they started sounding special around "My Arms Your Hearse' and 'Still Life'. Right now I am playing 'Deliverance' a bunch. I like trying to learn the guitar parts as well. Really awesome shit.

Maybe

2009-12-10T16:39:00.000-08:00

I had started to write my inner most thoughts to reveal and then wondered why I am compelled to do that. I already know that one is never quite understood. People will think they know you or understand who you are and you'll be knowing it's just not true, and you just bear with everything because you understand that people mean well. Everyone does not know the same thing or perceives information quite the same. But what a person knows defines life for that person. Does anyone have any idea what I'm trying to say?

Today

2009-12-01T16:06:00.001-08:00

Visited with Frank yesterday and he had good news. He's recovering really well and the stint in his heart is helping it work nicely. He is not looking at further surgery at this point and I am so happy for Frank.

Finally

2009-11-16T17:08:00.000-08:00

Been concerned about my friend Frank who had a heart attack about three weeks ago. He's finally starting to recover since having two surgeries. It was really good to talk to him after not being able to for it seems forever. I love Frank like a brother we have done so many things together. For the record, I have been to more excellent concerts with Frank than any of my friends and that is a distinction. I love music and the live music experience. Frank is so much fun to see a good band/show with.

Breaking the Silence

2009-10-15T19:25:00.000-07:00

Funny how I start a blog and then I never post. Well here goes one.
Tonight I attended the annual fund raiser for the organization I work for called Community Alliance. Our guest speaker was Steve Lopez, the author of the book The Soloist that was recently adapted to film. He was very inspiring. I have worked at this mental health agency for 24 years now and the impact the work has had upon my life and countless others cannot be stated simply. The Alliance is a community based mental health rehabilitation service for adults. Like anything the business has its flaws but overall the agency is known in the midwest for being very reliable and effective. Steve Lopez was the perfect guest speaker for us. He could have easily gotten away with talking all night about how cool it was to have a movie made of his book with such great actors but he didn't. He told the story of how he met Nathaniel Ayers and how it transformed both of their lives. He spent much of the time talking about the devastating effect mental illness has on so many people. He talked about how upside down society is, how he learned about classical music and Shakespeare from a homeless man on skid row, while he himself lived in the hills in a nice house. Steve showed himself to be a man of integrity, recognizing that he has an opportunity to do something helpful by sharing his story and information about what can be done better.
It got me to thinking about how I left my job about a year ago to go on the road and play music and work on film crews. It was a wonderful time but practical need sent me back to my full time job. But even before I left I was aware of the impact the work I am part of has on my community. As much as I would really love to just be an artist I am very proud to be involved in work that attempts to heal. My older sister was in town awhile back and when we talked about this she simply said that it is obviously your path. I accept it. Mr. Lopez' words reinvigorated something in me tonight and I am thankful for it. Of course I still want to be a self sufficient artist but very clearly I recognize the value of my job and am feeling appreciation for it right now.

Nebraska Pop Festival pictures

2009-09-23T16:41:00.000-07:00

I had the great pleasure of playing with Labrador at the first such festival to be held in Omaha. I sincerely dig his music and it was such a gas to play with him. I also played with another band called Cleemann and some photos will be posted from that performance. Both artists are from Denmark although Labrador (Flemming) now lives in Berlin. Photos taken by Frank Zaccone.

Events

2009-09-14T16:42:00.000-07:00

Mark's wife Liz died last Saturday. She had cancer and had been battling it for years. Thinking about her passing does trigger self reflection and with that I refocus. Mark and Liz were together a long time, maybe 20 years in total. When I last visited them she was bedridden and he was right there at her side. I must admit that I don't quite comprehend this kind of love. Back to self reflection.

It's like talking to myself

2009-08-19T19:40:00.000-07:00

So I feel like writing. Was just on Facebook for a second talking to a couple of friends I made through doing film and it just brought me back to that feeling I get from working full time. "I'm working so much that I'm hard pressed to find the time to actually live." I'm just venting. I am so thankful for my job and the fact that I am half decent at it. The creative work that I've had a taste of through film and music really calls to me, though. I just auditioned for a part in a film being shot in Council Bluffs next month, as well as submitting my resume for crew work. I got an offer for crew but can't take it. Tied to the financial reality of my mortgage I have to opt for the security of my job. For now.
I still believe the opportunities are there for me to make a transition into a more art centered way of making a living. The challenging part of this transition for me, is to think more business-like in approaching my music and art. I'll get the hang of it.

Family

2009-07-30T20:06:00.000-07:00

My sisters are in town for an annual event called Omaha Days. It's a big reunion for the black community, people come from all over the country and probably the world. I'm so happy to see them again. We had a reunion last year when I was on tour. They live in California. My younger brother Patrick comes in town tomorrow and it will be the first time the four of us have been together since 1996. I'm really feeling it. I'm stoked.

I'm doing all right

2009-07-22T16:19:00.000-07:00

Here I am last Friday night celebrating the gig my band just played. We had a splendid time and I am so happy to have a band. The guys do their best to play the music well.
We're also recording tracks for an album.

Just had a birthday

2009-07-08T15:43:00.000-07:00

The 7th was my 54th birthday as well as the day of the Michael Jackson memorial. I worked as usual and it was a strange day. To me, the response to Michael's death illustrates to me how important pop culture actually is, as opposed to what we say is important. I mean, his story overshadowed all of the other news in the world. In many ways he has been a big part of the soundtrack to our lives these last 40 years. It's hard to find the words to convey how much this has affected me. I have always been a psychedelic rebel when it comes to music, having been a snob about commercial music much of my life. But Michael is such a magical person he transcends all of that. I am so sad that he is already gone.

Seeing old friend John Tingle

2009-06-27T07:44:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling it

2009-06-25T16:24:00.000-07:00

I was inspired by The Jackson 5 as a teen.

recording

2009-06-09T16:12:00.000-07:00

It had been awhile since I'd done any recording at home. I broke the spell last weekend and did four new solo tracks. I call them so because they are idea captures more than songs. One of the recordings is available on my soundclick jukebox. Listen to "The Sky at Sunset". It's a new version of an oldie of mine.
So I continued recording in lieu of having band practice on Monday. We've recently recorded at a couple of different studios in town and have had varying levels of satisfaction with the results. Although I am not an engineer I seem to know how to get a certain sound when recording by myself. Getting a good drum sound with vocal microphones is not easy but we made some good headway towards doing that during the session. We're planning to record our first album (hopefully) at my house and I'm glad to have gotten the work started.

What I'm listening to

2009-06-04T15:24:00.000-07:00

Listening is as important as playing for me and always has been. Forever it seems that music has been my solace, even my escape from some of the shittier aspects of life as a black boy in the midwest. Due to unfortunate circumstances the joy of listening to the blues was destroyed for me. I vaguely remember when T-Bone Walker entranced me as a toddler. But The Beatles saved my life quite literally. Ever since I have been drawn to the sounds of the continent (UK and Europe). Thanks to punk I reconnected to American music. All of this goes as a way of clearing some head clutter and also trying to explain my taste in music.
With all of that said I just bought a vinyl single by Fleet Foxes called "Mykonos" and am listening now. I love their vocal harmonies and the timbre it creates, soft but sturdy.
Other new music I like includes the latest by Animal Collective (Merriweather Post Pavilion). I'm especially stuck on the track "Are You Frightened". Love those vocals and the mess of a beautiful sound behind them. "Veckatimest" by Grizzly Bear is also real good and I've only started to listen to it. I am so intrigued by the originality of the song ideas and arrangements. I want to write more like this.
Other top listens at the moment are Merz, in particular the songs "Silver Moon Ladders" and "Presume Too Much". Really excellent British pop on the folkier side (I'm making up words) sound-wise. Beautiful songs.
To be honest, I listen to my own music a fair amount as well. It really serves its purpose, the music that I write. It captures a place I am not finding in other people's music. I am grateful for the gift of this music, to be able to express it.
On to the rest of my current playlist. Other artists guaranteed to take me there at this time are: In Gowan Ring, Dungen, HASYMO, Scott Walker, Tunng and The Bird and the Bee. Special mention goes to old favorite "Music for the Masses" by Depeche Mode. I'm just coming off a jag of repeating "Behind the Wheel " and "Never Let Me Down".

I am here

2009-05-19T17:55:00.000-07:00

So often the self censoring involved in my thinking. I end up not writing anything. What's on my mind? I like this new song by Grizzly Bear I'm listening to. I appreciate the cds sent to me by the person who has started a record label (Smallboypants)in New Jersey. I see them sitting nearby. I listened to one earlier and liked what I heard. Definitely meriting a return visit. Now I'm jamming to a bootleg of J. Mascis and Mike Watt rocking out at the Knitting Factory. That makes me trip back to touring last year with Son Ambulance and playing at the Knitting Factory in LA. It was a cool time and place.

I definitely recommend you see the movie

2009-04-27T15:44:00.000-07:00

I went to the first showing of April Showers in Omaha last Friday night. I went later to the 'official' first showing of the film, the 7:00 slot where the cast and crew present were acknowledged. The theater was just about full and there were a lot of people connected to the movie present. It was exciting, it really was. Even more exciting is that the movie is good. It is rather intense emotionally and the cast delivered the goods. It's an engrossing story that draws you in pretty quickly. I had to dab away tears my first time through.
I have to talk about my work on the wardrobe. I was so thrilled to be entrusted with the whole job in the first place. I had only done one film previously (Lovely, Still) but I'm a fast learner. It's cool that I've ended up in wardrobe because I have always loved clothes and fashion but have not necessarily been a fashionable dresser. The film looks good, the clothes don't distract from the action. People look natural and 'of the times'.
Besides blowing my own horn, I am quite aware of the potential impact this movie has. Namely, the potential to touch people, get them/us talking to each other. Maybe it has the potential to encourage people to start or continue healing. Reconnecting. It has been a real growing experience for me, to say the least.

April Showers the movie

2009-04-15T17:47:00.000-07:00

It's a little over a week away from the national theatrical release of the film April Showers. I did the wardrobe for the film and the experience was pretty awesome. The film is based on director/screenwriter Andrew Robinson's experience of living through the Columbine tragedy. I missed the premier of the film at the Omaha Film festival due to being on tour in Europe so I have yet to see the finished film. I'll tell you that the trailer that is online looks pretty damned good and I'm very proud to be a part of this production. I must say that I think it's ludicrous that the film is rated R, the film is intense but not violent. It's almost like some people want to keep teens from seeing a film that attempts to realistically portray life events, because that's what the film sets out to do. Again, I'm speaking from having been a part of making the film. It was the kind of project and atmosphere where many of the people involved got to be like a family, we needed each others support because it was so personal and intense. The film is showing across the country starting Friday April 24 and I encourage everyone to go and see it. At the very least it will get people talking.

Back to the regular world

2009-03-31T18:18:00.000-07:00

I've come down from the tour and I'm back at work full time. I didn't originally plan for this. No thanks to the economy tanking and foiling my original plan to work on-call virtually full time. It was possible before the recession really set in. Honestly, I'm thankful to have an employer to return to. I worked for 23 years at Community Alliance before leaving last year to do music and film as much as possible. I am so glad I finally did it. Working on film crews, touring and playing so much music with the different bands has been so fulfilling. I almost sound like it's all over but I don't see it that way. I have to refocus on maintaining my household for the moment but I have projects upcoming.

In Austria

2009-03-18T06:42:00.000-07:00

I so appreciate that someone dug us enough to tape this.

playing in Austria

2009-03-18T06:41:00.001-07:00

A fan took this video of the band performing a song Dylan wrote in German while on the tour.

Greedheads

2009-03-16T05:27:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you but I was never fooled. I sussed that there were no benevolent figures looking after the best interests of the common man decades ago. It seemed so obvious to me as a child that the only thing that seemed to matter was money/power. Everything else was a lie. The church and what it represented, the schools and they're supposed purpose, the public figures that asked for our trust all lied and continue to lie. Look at the current state of the world, the economic crisis. It was always about the naked money grab. We was hoodwinked and it is not going to get any better. Ever.

Back home

2009-03-14T08:45:00.000-07:00

Being home from the tour is kind of tough. Life in general right now is a challenge with the economy being in such shape. I feel it directly because I gave up my full time job last year to do the band thing. Returning to the harsh reality of needing to get back to regular work hours is a bit daunting. I am constantly challenged by life. I would love to live the life of full time musician/artist but it still doesn't pay well enough. Time to readjust, take care of bills and put together a strategy to increase my music business.

The Tour

2009-03-06T16:35:00.000-08:00

The tour is winding down, we have two dates left in Dusseldorf and Brussels. It has been quite an experience. Many highs and of course, some lows. I think the most diplomatic way to describe some of the lows would be to say that I wish I had been touring with my band as opposed to being a band member. Several things would have been done differently. I also am very tired of the curious looks I get from people on the streets and sometimes in stores. It is 2009 for fuck's sake, what is with this continued attitude about race? It is not my imagination, some people's distrust or distaste with encountering a black could be cut with a knife it was so obvious. It enrages me that ignorance will not die.

Germany

2009-02-23T02:20:00.000-08:00

So, the Son Ambulance tour is primarily centered in Germany where the band seems to have the most loyal and understanding fans. I love the old architecture along with the ultra modern that you find here. It also seems that the clean places are way cleaner than in the US. I'm comparing because I have always hated how the US always talks like it is the best. It is not and I am saying that as a US citizen. At my age I don't knowe that I would move to Europe, but the place certainly appeals to me. I will say that I am dealing with a bit of the typical tension I feel at home regarding race. The band tell me it is my imagination but I have lived with this all of my life and I know a rat when I smell one. All I can say is that it still hurts when people cross the street whgen they see me coming, some of the cold and downright fearful stares I catch when walking alone is still unsettling. I did not experience this in Japan. With those thoughts shared I feel better. Thank you blog.

I'm in Europe!

2009-02-18T12:09:00.000-08:00

Well I made it fine through the flights. My uneasy feeling about the flight was on time though. There was a medical emergency during the flight but everyone was safe. A man went into a diabetic coma and he was panicked and delusional. It was handled well by the crew but I had a feeling about the flight. There is so much to say but I'll just say that Europe has not disappointed me so far.

Preparing for journey

2009-02-15T07:23:00.000-08:00

Today I leave for Europe. For me this is a big day. I know that people travel all over the world all of the time and it's no big deal. I can't begin to describe how I have longed to go to Europe since I was a child, thinking the possibility was beyond me. My family went through some really lean times and I know that has a lot to do with why I've supressed many of my dreams. They just seemed impossible. I am so thankful for this opportunity. It has not been easy getting ready for the tour. Frankly, rehearsals have had many moments of tension. I pray that the band will find its groove and that we play well for the people and ourselves. I enjoy flying but I have had moments of deep anxiety upon hearing about the recent plane crashes. All I know is that it is beyond my control. I pray for a safe journey for the whole band. Ultimately I pray for a safe journey for everyone. I want to openly declare my dedication to Son Ambulance, to doing my part to make the band strong and musically potent. I dedicate myself to making an effort to help the band move forward musically and professionally. I may not be able to come up with perfect pop bass lines, but I always play with soul. The audience has always made a point to let me know they feel it. I know that this is something I can contribute consistently.

Visit with Thomas and Nick

2009-02-13T11:22:00.001-08:00

Last night I enjoyed a very nice visit with Thomas and his son Nick. Thomas is quickly becoming a new friend as well as band mate. I'm searching for the right descriptive words but it's basically the Native Americanness in his ways that I really like and am comfortable with. There's a spiritual essence in the way he lives. It comes through his son Nick as well. The kind of people I like to surround myself with.

Showing Zach my new camera

2009-02-11T20:52:00.000-08:00

One of my life long friends is a fellow named Craig Chytil (that's him in the background on the phone). We've known each other since high school, have played music and experienced a lot together. We have a special bond. I remember the first time I saw Craig's wife (before they were married), I knew that he would marry her the moment she walked in the room. Craig like me, swore he would never marry. Zach is their son and he's 11. These people are like family and I love Zach so much. I just wanted to share that.

video post #1

2009-02-09T22:19:00.000-08:00

Thanks Randy

2009-02-08T08:28:00.000-08:00

I played at the 31st annual Groundhog Prom in Omaha last night. It is a costume/freakers ball that's a big annual event in Omaha. I was able to take pictures of the event thanks to my friend Randy, he gave me a new camera after hearing about the death of my Fuji. I love taking pictures and just capturing moments. Randy sayed the day just in time for my trip to Europe. You can bet I intend to take a bunch while there.

Record Collection

2009-02-06T13:44:00.000-08:00

My latest audio work

2009-02-05T08:07:00.000-08:00

Recently I was contacted by German artist Kommissar Hjuler (http://www.asylum-lunaticum.de/) to collaborate on a piece. Kommissar's visual work is fascinating and disturbing at the same time, and I have been told that some of my sound work has the same effect. I agreed to receive a cd-r of text spoken by the artist and his wife/artist Mamabaer to incorporate into a sound work. The audio is finished and I have uploaded it to my Soundclick player. The name of the piece is "Anticipation of the Generalized Other". Scroll through the titles on the player until you see it and have a listen. Kommissar Huler will release the collaboration in Germany on his label SHMF in a limited edition with original artwork made for each copy. I am also making the work available on cd-r with cover artwork by K. The two covers I have chosen to use are displayed above. If you are interested in purchasing a copy send me an e-mail. dvhiggins@cox.net

thoughts

2009-02-04T12:40:00.000-08:00

Now that I have set up this blog I have become aware that I am very much a baby boomer. By that I mean that I am more guarded about my privacy than younger folks, like most people my age (mid-50's). I work with a lot of people young enough to be my children and have noted the ease they have about what they do and say online. I find myself thinking and perhaps overthinking what to say before I post. There are so many sides to one's personality, so many aspects to your true self, how deeply can one share his personal truths without fear of reprisal? For example, I am a respectful and accepting person but in reality hold back my thoughts on the way some people live out their religious beliefs. Primarily in regards to how those practices directly affect the quality of my life. I sometimes want to write and rant about it, express my anger. Even after just writing that much my mind is saying "don't get started now". I suppose the reason I self censor is that I know that people cannot help being who they are and my thoughts are merely that. Thoughts. Most of the time there would be no positive gain by engaging others with my opinion, especially if my opinion would likely create conflict or perception of something negative beyond my right to say what I'm thinking. And yet, my blog is my soapbox and here I want to get used to the idea that I can speak my mind, within reason of course. Besides, most likely the only person that reads these posts is myself and maybe my big sister.

Lovely Still clips

2009-02-03T20:22:00.001-08:00

I recently got started working in film in the wardrobe department. Here are two clips from the first film I worked on, "Lovely, Still". It should be in theaters around Christmas time this year. I really learned a lot working with Martin Landau and Ellen Burstyn.

Working in film

2009-02-02T20:30:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I go to North Sea Films to do some more work on the upcoming film Lovely Still. As much as I love this work (wardrobe) it still kind of freaks me out to think about. I recently watched the current cut of the movie with Nik (Fackler, the director and screenwriter) and the movie blows me away even as it is. I looked in wonderment at the culmination of my work along with the rest of the crew and it amazed me. Right now I'm deciding to get psyched up to do a good job rather than be concerned that I can get it right again.
That brings to mind the other films I've worked on, all yet to be released. April Showers will be out first and I am excited for the future of this movie, even with the economy being as it is. I look forward to people seeing it and realizing there is no exploitation going on here. I am very proud to have worked on this film. In case I need to say, the movie is based on true events that happened at Columbine.
I also worked as wardrobe assistant on an independent science fiction film called The Scientist. This was quite different from the other films with a very small cast. many days were spent with just the main actor, Bill Sage. I quite enjoyed this filmmaking experience as well. I think this movie will be released in Novemeber, Lovely Still close to Christmas time.

Last night's show

2009-02-01T08:43:00.001-08:00

My band played at the Barley Street tavern last night. We were one of the opening acts. Although I broke a string and didn't feel real comfortable it was a very good night. It was real cool that people were already there when I arrived to setup. I tend to fret to myself about my music and whether or not it is relevant or passe. I know how the music makes me feel but I admit to deep codependency, a desire to be all right with everyone else. It is always so encouraging when people let you know that they feel the music. Many people let me know with sincerity last night. Paper Owls was the main act and they are quite good. Sometimes reminding me of Massive Attack and Portishead. I'm thrilled that the band asked us to play and look forward to more shows with them.

Cover art

2009-01-31T07:56:00.000-08:00

I make collage art for my cd-r covers. This is a recent one.

Music online

2009-01-29T13:55:00.000-08:00

I've had Soundclick as a service for a few years now but only recently have come to appreciate it. Have a listen.

Challenged

2009-01-28T20:35:00.000-08:00

Well I got a little upset at practice tonight and for no good reason. I'm writing about it to tell myself to address the issue. I read the book 'The Four Agreements' and I need to remember what it says, not to take things personally. I reasoned that I was cranky from getting up abruptly from a nap to get to practice on time. Joe wanted a different tone out of the bass and I was just not feeling it at first. Once I settled down and started to think clearly I knew my emotional defensiveness was unreasonable. He said it well, 'this is not about you, it's about the sound". I need to remain aware of this and be conscious about it. So I learned something tonight, something I've learned before; give up your comfort zone and experience life.

Evening ramble

2009-01-26T20:42:00.000-08:00

Rehearsed tonight for the upcoming European tour with Son Ambulance. We jammed a bit which was nice. The latest incarnation of the band (there have been many) needs to loosen up a bit, learn how to respond to each other more intuitively. It seems most everyone has the capability.
I am so grateful for the opportunity to go to Europe. I've wanted to do this all my life and just never made it happen. Touring and playing music is definitely the way I prefer to make the trip.
Speaking of Europe, I was recently asked to collaborate with a German artist named Kommissar Huler. He deals with absurd abstract art constructions and noise recordings. I checked out his CV and website, liked much of it and decided to go for it. He sent a cd-r of spoken text that is to be incorporated into the piece. I worked on it all weekend. I don't know if he contacted me after seeing on my websites that I am playing in Germany but the timing makes the contact seem related.
I'll post the results after I send it to the Kommissar. I've posted the cover I'll use for the release, featuring artwork by Kommissar Huler.
I look forward to meeting people in Europe and hope to meet this artist. Check out his website http://www.asylum-lunaticum.de/

Son Ambulance at SXSW 2008

2009-01-26T07:38:00.000-08:00

another video

2009-01-24T19:11:00.000-08:00

Here is a clip of me playing with Coyote Bones at Slowdown. We're covering Nirvana's "On a Plane".

Son Ambulance video footage

2009-01-24T09:27:00.000-08:00

Someone in the audience caught our opening song the night we opened for The Faint at Sokol Auditorium in Omaha.

Family Radio video footage

2009-01-24T09:17:00.001-08:00

RAF video footage

2009-01-24T09:02:00.001-08:00

RAF reunited in 2008, first time in about 15 years.

RAF in 1990 with the late James Widmark on vocals

And a blast from the past, RAF in 1985

My camera is broken

2009-01-21T22:19:00.000-08:00

The flash went dead on my little Fuji digital camera that I've used unceasingly for about three years now. I had this interview yesterday for Worlds of Wayne's podcast (http://worldsofwayne.libsyn.com/), and I wanted to catch a shot of Wayne Brekke and myself, only to discover that the flash is dead. See the above photo evidence. It sucks because I am about to go to Europe and I am too broke to afford a new camera. You know, I bet a lot of people are saying those words a lot right now. I am too broke. By the way, my interview will be online Friday.

I'm a Believer

2009-01-20T13:25:00.000-08:00

I watched Barack Obama's inauguration and the whole impact of what is happening finally hit me like a ton of bricks. The importance of this event hit me as I looked at the people behind Barack, all of those beautiful brown faces. This wasn't even a remote possibility when I was growing up. Whatever happens during his administration will not diminish the impact of this historic moment. People did not die in vain. I cried tears of joy.

Martin Luther King Day

2009-01-19T08:04:00.000-08:00

I can't avoid thinking about how it all seems so hollow, all for show and everything still rotten inside. I'm talking about the hypocrisy of the United States' leadership. If Martin Luther King was so great why did they murder him? If our country's leaders really gave a shit about the people why are we in such dire straits right now? If they gave a fuck about anybody why have they let the con artists suck up all of the money? It seems like the majority of politicians and public figures are nothing but gutless liars. I say this as I think about my childhood. My grandfather was a baptist minister whom I looked up to. All of my family and most of our family friends thought that I would likely grow up to be a minister or something like that. For a time I liked this idea and aspired to it. I pointedly decided to leave that dream behind the day Martin Luther King was murdered. I was in junior high school and I remember thinking, well why would I want to be a public figure representing good values when the people that do this just get killed? Again and again. I was thinking about the Kennedys and Malcolm X before him. It was a crushing and disappointing revelation.

Thoughts on Obama

2009-01-17T13:45:00.000-08:00

Obama appears genuinely humane and decent for starters. He appears to be intelligent and aware. I like the way he expresses himself. I can already see that he intends to try to represent all of America, not just the privileged, not just the ones with the money. His style of leadership is a breath of fresh air. I hope he is given a fair chance to do his job.

European tour coming up

2009-01-16T07:38:00.000-08:00

My profile shows that my main career has been in the mental health field, but my primary interest and involvement is in music. I play in several bands in the Omaha area:

The Dereck Higgins Band

Son Ambulance

Flamethrower

Paddy O'Furniture

The Pat Higgins Trio

The Family Radio

R.A.F.

I have always been active somehow with music, but in the year 2004 I made the decision that I would attempt to move forward with my musical activities, in other words get beyond just local involvement. I made a plan and the plan has been working. One of the developments was being asked to join the band Son Ambulance, who are on Saddle Creek Records. This led to some personal goals being realised right away; being on a recognized record label, going on tour, meeting musicians I like not as a fan but as a peer, seeing my picture in magazines other than Omaha publications. The scheduled tour of Europe is another dream I have always wished for. European music has been the mainstay of my musical preferences since my teens. I am so grateful for the opportunity to finally visit the continent. From The Beatles through to Genesis, Faust, Gong, Magma, Pulsar, PFM and many others the music emanating from England and Europe literally gave me a reason to live when I was a suicidal teenager. The music remains very important to my life. Even though I am curious about how I will be receieved in Germany (racism?) I am fascinated by that culture and can't wait to absorb what I can of it. On top of that the band is scheduled to play in Brussels, Belgium, another country that has provided me with some very cool music (the Play it Again Sam label for starters). What's more incredible is that the venue we are playing it is also hosting a concert of Magma (!!!) the same night. This is amazing news for me. To think that I may get to meet Christian Vander, a living legend of the drums, whoa.

April Showers movie

2009-01-15T11:05:00.000-08:00

Last year I had the great opportunity to work as wardrobe superviser on an independent film called April Showers. The movie is based on real events that happened at Columbine High School in 1999. I'd like to call everyone's attention to this movie which will be released in theaters in April. The director was a student when it all happened and his perspective on what really happened is eye opening. I'm really proud to be a part of this production. Go to the website for detailed information: http://www.aprilshowersmovie.com/

New to blogging

2009-01-15T10:24:00.000-08:00

Hello friends and anyone else that might drop by. I have started a blog with no specific intention in mind. I may end up posting favorite records or talking about the bands I play in. I just though it was time to do it.